Rock Violence: The Story of How Gun
Violence Came About
Cain the first poor and rock-less
victim, murdered Abel the first Entrepreneur who collected rocks from his
garden to create a wealthy rock pile, with a rock from Abel’s rock pile. It was
concluded that if it wasn’t for Abel’s rock, the human couldn’t have committed
this dreadful act, and logically was the belief that it must have been the
rocks fault (being inanimate and all) and not the humans (having only the limited
power of reason and forethought), to commit the murder, and it was also desired
in those days that following such a horrific act there become a grave necessity
to criminalize ALL rocks. For if it wasn’t for the rock the murder would never
have happened. Thus we have born from this act the term “Rock Violence.” The
actual cause of this violent act occurred when Cain’s habitual whining about
how unfair things were (due to the fact that God, if there was a God, had it in
for him because God didn’t bless him with a rock pile the same as Abel’s, who was
his equal, and logic always wins and must take precedence, concluding that
there is no God, only Science) and it became unbearable for Abel, and calling him
out on it, or bringing it to Cain’s attention, made Cain so angry, he planned
the murder, thereby using the most effective thing he could think of, and that
was with one of Abel’s soon to become, “Violent Rocks.” Now it is important to
keep in mind and be well aware that it was written into the Charter of the
Garden of Eden, that man had the freedom and innate right to carry and possess
rocks. However our fore-fathers, Adam and Eve, could not possibly have
understood the implications of how a rock could become a murder weapon. Therefore
we now come to the postulation and make an exception to that very general rule,
because the rock had now become the new weapon of choice due to its ready availability
and great abundance. We are not stupid and therefore recognize that we must not
include all rocks into the equation, for some rocks may be beneficial to ones
survival and well being. It must be only the ones which we have labeled “Assault
Rocks” due to Cain’s impulsive behavior and their menacing appearance. These rocks
include the rocks that can fit into ones hands and have enough weight to insure
harm or certain death to kill and maim. These may perform the same function as
other rocks, however be not deceived, these are more menacing because they are dark,
look formidable, and can be thrown at greater speed, or struck with much frequency
and deadly accuracy.
We
recognize that pebbles, however, must not be listed as deadly because of
insufficient weight, but if collected in large enough quantities may cause
death when heaped upon an individual and so it is with certain reluctance one
must also regulate the quantities of these kinds of rocks and limit the amount
that any one person may accumulate. We also must create legislation limiting an
individual’s right so that they may only possess pebbles in small enough
quantities that one may be able to hold them in the palm of a single hand, and
must have no sharp edges. We must also legislate against any invention or
object that may enhance the force or rapidity that rocks may be thrown. Thus
sling shots are no longer permissible. It doesn’t matter if you use them for
hunting or sport. A rock skipping on water may become very dangerous. Suppose
someone is out swimming under water and comes up at just the wrong moment when a
rock is side armed across the silken water of a stream or pond. We also see no
need for someone to want to throw rocks at targets like bottles, cans and
papers with a “Bull’s eye” painted on it. Just think of it. How wrong is it for
anyone to want to put out a “Bull’s eye.” Large boulders are exempt because
they are too heavy to lift or throw and difficult to easily hide or store. Understanding
this we must also regulate the purchase and transfer of boulder crushing
equipment like hammers and sludge hammers that can manipulate or change large
boulders into smaller rocks and or pebbles.
We must also ask ourselves and come to
the conclusion that it may be possible and on some very, very rare occasions it
might not be the rocks fault at all, and that fault might lie with the human.
Thus the criminalizing of the rock isn’t enough. We must also look towards the
rock possessors or owners. We need background checks on all humans before they
can possess or purchase rocks to insure that they are not getting into the
wrong hands. This applies to even law abiding citizens. Their rights must be
regulated because they could innocently and unknowingly sell, loan or give one
to an unstable person. The rest of the population that have no interest or need
for rocks, and do not care if they even exist, desire to impose their feelings
and impressions on all those who do use rocks in construction, sports, survival
and protection in their daily lives. It goes without saying that the mentally
ill, the criminals and all political opponents must never have access to rocks.
This is always to be determined and challenged with every election until the
goal is reached of total rock elimination. Hopefully the end goal here is to
have one political party in control and to never let the opposing masses have
access to, or the rights to possess rocks that could be potentially used
against you. Concealed carry permits will be limited to those individuals who
are protecting these elite legislators who have enacted these anti rock laws as
well as movie celebrities, knowing full well that all actors or people impersonators
hold a superior intellect and knowledge of most all things above that of the
average person or persons in this land, akin to individuals just wanting to
protect their homes and families, who are in actuality the majority and are
simply not important enough to warrant any self protection, because after all
they are not celebrities or the honored political elite. We must never assume
that it is just evil people doing evil things, because this scenario is always false
from the commencement. We must always sponsor
the assumption that people are by nature good and must always reject the hypothesis
that it can be as simple as “Evil people doing evil things,” and the blame must
always be with the weapon of choice. Here is a true fact; if you take away the
weapon, you take away the murderous evil act. In our present atmosphere it is a
perfectly sound deduction that with a total elimination of rocks there can be
no more rock violence or political coups. We know that people are not smart
enough to come up with another form of violence. Namely: physical violence, knife
violence, or cart violence, or rope violence, or sword violence, or spear violence,
hammer and sickle violence, or chemical violence.
All building and road contractors must be
closely regulated. There can and should never be the transferring of rocks from
one person to another without proper documentation and all rocks must be registered.
This is so the Government knows where every rock is, in order that it might
come with rock in hand, and confiscates your rocks under punishment of fine, imprisonment
or death. You may all voluntarily turn in your rocks, which will be crushed by
the Government at your expense into sand that will be made into wine and beer
bottles for everyone’s alcohol consumption, which will make us ALL feel better
about ourselves and the present crisis, while we smoke our legalized pot and promote
and build centers to inject illegal drugs while handing out condoms for
promiscuity and contemplate the handling of this dreadful problem of “Rock
Violence,” which plagues our society. Thank you all for your support.
This is a message from your Elect an
Intellect Victim Special Interest Pac.
